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The human condition is one of inherent jealousy and appetite that can never be satisfied. Let me never measure my happiness and worth by material gain. Let me never be jealous again. Let me never compare myself to someone else. Let my happiness be rooted in Jesus and the unique person he made me. Let my fruitfulness always be a testament to his glory.
It’s weird how much change in our lives we don’t see coming and are completely unprepared for. If you would have told the kid me about the future pivotal, climactic, events of my life, my jaw would have probably dropped. The feeling of uncertainty that I have had daily, for the past few years of my young adult life, is something, the more youthful me, would have never thought a possible feeling. What scares me is I’m only twenty and I have so much more to go through, and so much more to learn. Soon this feeling I have now, will grow into a different one, as I will grow into a new season of my life. The things that comfort me now will pass away and turn into something different. I’m terrified, but I’m not going to give up. There are going to be a lot more strange new feelings that will really put me out of my comfort zone and I will probably never reach a point of equilibrium, where I am satisfied and have nothing to stress about, but I guess thats the beauty of life. You walk, and you grow, and you use your experiences to gain some wisdom, and pass it on to someone else, so that it may make it a little easier for them. I saw a post here on tumblr about how it takes an extreme amount of pressure to make a diamond, and that it will be a similar amount of pressure for people to become truly great and beautiful. I guess you could say I am excited to be turned into a diamond and I accept the challenge.
Consider it a sheer gift, friends, when tests and challenges come at you from all sides. You know that under pressure, your faith-life is forced into the open and shows its true colors. So don’t try to get out of anything prematurely. Let it do its work so you become mature and well-developed, not deficient in any way.
I pray that God will be there every step of the journey and be my ultimate comfort. I rest in you God.
So, I’ve never smoked marijuana before and I never intend too, but I live with 3 other roommates, 2 of which I would consider big stoners. They smoke pot avidly and probably go though about 100+ dollars worth of marijuana a week. I know weed is supposedly not bad for your health, and I’m sure it’s not, however I find that when they are not high, they are hard to get along with, and are typically in bad moods. The first thing they do when they get out of class is get high, as well as the first thing they do when they wake up, and before bed, and they pretty much smoke all day. It’s one thing to say that weed is not damaging to your health, but I think it is damaging to relationships, and it is a mental crutch if you would have it be. I can’t imagine the deadened feeling a person would have after spending the majority of their life high, when they have to be sober, when and if that day comes. Everything in moderation. Seeing them everyday only makes me want to stay a weed virgin forever. If I can’t enjoy life sober, I don’t want to enjoy life at all. That being said, I know they probably have a lot of hurt deep down, and they have my deepest sympathy (one of their moms passed away two years ago) however suppressing every emotion you get with the high of marijuana cannot be healthy. I think sometimes if not all the time, we need to feel real emotion even if it is anger or sadness. We have to have dark, to have light. Anyways, I’m not seeking to condemn them. They are good people with good hearts, but their life choices are really beginning to bother me. More people should enjoy life in the clear mindedness that god intended us to enjoy life in. The same goes for alcohol and all other drugs for that matter. As for the pain we feel, I think there are better outlets for us to use for coping, mainly our loving god who can make all things, especially the bad things work for our good if we let him. The End
I just want to fall asleep and wake up when this time in my life is over. Everything is so unbalanced right now. I miss my family the way it was before. I miss my friends. I have no where to run too. I can’t find any normality or comfort. I’m scared of tomorrow and I just want this night to last forever. Everyday that goes by is subliminal. I find myself forgetting what I did the day, and even the hour before. I’m living in a dream land and I want to wake up… But I cant. God idk what you are trying to show me but I hope it is revealed soon. There is nothing I desire more now, than gods comfort, peace, and love.
Shine your light lord in this darkest of places and help me to be a shining light. Send me the spirit of truth.
It really pains me to see people hurting deep within. There is so much pain in this world and nobody deserves the weight of the emotional burdens that have been laid upon them. I wish I could extend a compassion that would satisfy to the world and give it eternal love but I can’t. There is one who can though. There is one who can satisfy.
You know better than I
You know the way
I’ve let go the need to know why
You know better than I
God, I sure need you. Where ever you are.